What were you selling?
1£: Charity Subscriptions - An starving orphan from deep country follows you around. 2 HP, 8 in all stats.
2£: Cleaning Supplies - You can always leave a room looking exactly how you entered it.
3£: Unbreakable Steak knives - You still have one left, D10 single use.
4£: Encyclopaedias -You still have one. D8 bulky.
5£: Phone sex - You are irresistibly seductive, but only to those who can’t see you.
6£: Insurance - Pay nothing for hospital visits.

Who owned the only other phone?
1 HP: An innocent old lady - Earns 100£ a month for her pension. Will buy anything.
2 HP: Another telemarketer - Willing to sell you anything from the first table.
3 HP: An automated alarm system - Blares a deafening shriek through your speakerphone, you’re used to it by now.
4 HP: A public phone booth - Actually made a fair few sales through it. You always get the best price when selling something.
5 HP: A popular radio show - Can be called to talk to all of Bastion at once.
6 HP: Alexander Graham Bell - Exists in both realities, has no time for your shenanigans.

If you are the youngest player the party is £10,000 in debt to:
Yourselves from the present. Gradually fade out of existence until the paradox is resolved.